Hey Square Readers,
As we’re getting into reading The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest, let’s get deeper into the material. Last week we talked about the first two chapters of the book, covering why and how self-sabotage happens.
This week we’re diving into Chapter 3, figuring out what triggers our negative emotional response and our self-sabotage cycle.
“On the surface, it seems as though the thing that triggers our emotional response is the problem. It is not. The problem is that we don’t know what to do with how we feel and therefore do not have all of the emotional processing skills that we need. When we can identify why something is triggering us, we can use the experience as a catalyst for a release and positive life change.”
The author explains self-sabotage can help us learn and heal. It’s important to understand what our negative emotions are, where they stem from, and how they contribute. The author describes the negative emotions most strongly connected to self-sabotage being: anger, sadness, guilt, embarrassment, jealousy, resentment, regret, and chronic fear.
“The things that are bothering you most right now are not external forces trying to torture you for the sake of it—they are your own mind identifying what in your life can be fixed, changed, and transformed… Within our self-sabotaging behaviors lies incredible wisdom. Not only can they tell us how and what we have been traumatized by, they can also show us what we really need. Embedded within each self-sabotaging behavior is actually the key to unlock it, if only we can understand it first.”
Along with this, the author gives a lot of examples of self-sabotage and what they might be trying to show you underneath it all.
“Your instinct doesn’t exist to ensure you feel comfortable and ecstatic at all hours of the day. It moves you toward what you’re meant to do, because it shows you where your interests, skills, and desires intersect… If you want to master your life, you have to learn to organize your feelings. By becoming aware of them, you can trace them back to the thought process that prompted them, and from there you can decide whether or not the idea is an actual threat or concern, or a fabrication of your reptilian mind just trying to keep you alive.”
The author also breaks down what she defines as the difference between Intuition and Fear.
The root is that intuition is in the present moment, and presents as quiet, subtle, logical pulls. Meanwhile intrusive thoughts are loud, hectic, irrational, lead to fear and panic about the future.
“When you start listening to yourself, you might find it hard to tell the difference between thoughts that are helpful and intuitive, and thoughts that are damaging and intrusive. They both function similarly—they are immediate, reactive, and offer some kind of previously unseen insight—and yet they function so completely differently in practice.”
She wraps up this chapter with the importance of not only understanding all of this, but to start putting it into action, and working to break through the cycle to fully meet your needs.
“Understanding your needs, meeting the ones you are responsible for, and then allowing yourself to show up so others can meet the ones you can’t do on your own will help you break the self-sabotage cycle and build a healthier, more balanced and fulfilling life.”
We’d love to hear your answer in the comments:
- What negative emotions do you tend to feel connected to self-sabotage?
- Think back to one example of self sabotage you’ve had – what wisdom is there and what may it be trying to tell you?
- When have you felt the pull of intuition versus the push of fear? How can you tell the difference?
Feel free to share any other thoughts you have about this book. We can’t wait to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
Don’t forget to:
Happy reading,
Pesso
