Thanks for the tag @maxpete. I'm so sorry for your loss @CassieLMT, that has to be super tough.
I think my best advice would be to sit your family members down and set some boundaries for yourself - to show them that you need space and you need to continue to move forward with life, not space to keep them out, even though you effectively will be. If you tell them that you're doing this for yourself and describe how you need that space, it will be less painful for them to hear than to tell them, hey... go away, I need my space, so to speak. Be honest that you are grieving and that you need to stick to a routine to help you get passed it.
The next thing I would do is set yourself a schedule of time blocks and keep it simple and small. Don't overwhelm yourself right now. You need to do the bare minimum and add to it as much as you can handle. You cannot eat an elephant all in one bite. Make a plan to do XYZ during the hours of 8-10 or whatever and then only do those things until they are done. Then if you have extra time and you feel good, add something extra until you have to shift to your next scheduled time. I think that micromanaging your schedule at this point will make it feel far less overwhelming and help you keep up.
Lastly, if your family is overdemanding of your time and attention and not respectful of your needs, do not feel obligated to answer every phone call or text message immediately and don't hesitate to say flat out no when needed. You don't need to be at every family function or situation if it does not directly involve you or sacrifices your mental well being. I know that may sound harsh but unless you lost a spouse and have children to support during their loss, your well being is more important than anyone else's at the moment.
As far as going forward, staying motivated can often be hard. I've been self-employed since 1987 and it isn't always easy. I do a lot of little things to help me keep moving, especially working from home. I'm a list maker, so I prioritize tasks that need to get done. I also use a datebook for a schedule. On days when I have appointments and have to go to town, I determine ahead of time when I need to be ready to leave, get all of my things ready that have to go with me and pick out my outfits so I'm not lost in the closet trying to decide what to wear. Throughout the day, as things come up that I need to handle, if I'm away from the office, I call myself and leave voicemails that I have to check when I get back. It forces me to take an action step. I also find that being very organized and a planner, helps me to stay on task and get things done. If your to-do list only has five things on it and you get them all done that day, you have a great sense of accomplishment that helps retrain your brain. If it has 20 things on it and you only do five, then your brain says you've failed. Keep your tasks manageable for each day and when you can't get it all done in one day, make a new list for tomorrow at the end of the day and know where you're going to start.
Not sure what your line of work is or whether or not you have any help in your business, but it may be super beneficial to read the E-Myth book. We read it in book club a couple months ago and now we're on the Mountain is You and it is amazing the things you will learn! I've been around the block just a few times (lol) and have already learned stuff I didn't know.
Ultimately, you have to do what works for you, in your style, in your space, with your business. Does color coding help you get things done or a big white board with a calendar or a check list? If your workspace is not already set up to help you succeed, that's a great place to start. When you FEEL ready to work, you feel motivated to get work done.
Hope this helps.
Co-Owner/Business Manager
Arctic Heat
R&C Property Management
Event Planner/Business Trainer
Member - Women in HVACR
Member - Women's Leadership Network, Helena
