Ouch...this one brings up a lot of memories. This isn't exactly industry specific - but I think in general the lesson I had to learn was that you need to advocate for yourself, be who you are, and always trust your gut without thinking you have to go it alone. A community like this is what I have tried to create for our mentorship program so that young makers are supported as they start out and navigate business formation and operations.
I am turning 46 this year and have been working in the ceramic/pottery industry since I was 23. I started out working for 12 years in a ceramic supply business (selling tools, kilns, glazes, clay, etc) - I was underpaid - worked for an abusive boss who didn't know the materials/technical/practical side of ceramics really at all but I was spellbound by the business and was designated to take over the business by her. I fell into a trap of being a trusting hard-working person and I stayed in that position too long and believed promises I shouldn't have. So my first lesson was to learn to trust my gut.
Then I went out on my own and for 6 years running my own ceramic supply business as a competitor to my former workplace. I started with a small investment and a lot of credit cards (don't do that folks!). I had been backed by larger companies that believed in my knowledge base and command of the materials and practical side of ceramics who set me up with distributorship lines and we were successful for a short time.
The hard lesson I had to learn is that the business world at large is filled with people of all different beliefs and backgrounds. As our business picked up and we grew larger I wasn't able to retain enough of a cash reserve to weather the volatility of the rebounding economy after the 2008/2009 economic crisis. We were in a weakened position having reinvested everything into bettering our store lines and heavy inventory investments. My former boss began a campaign that included calling suppliers and asking them if they wanted an LGBTQ+ person (she didn't word it that nicely of course) selling their products and suddenly operations started to get difficult for us. And, because I was bootstrapping and living order to order paycheck to paycheck, I couldn't navigate hurdles being put up like larger ordering requirements, less friendly payment terms, etc. Some of the suppliers that supported me told me what was happening a long time after it started and the hardest lesson I learned which I can share now was that I should have been head-on confrontational about this. I should have advocated for myself and my business. At the time, I gave in, and didn't know what to do. I didn't have mentors or business friends to trust like this Square Community. I tunneled into hurt feelings and shame about who I was and eventually we decided to let the retail side of our operation go and focus solely on our studio, MudFire where we can share the knowledge and practical side of ceramics which has turned out to be the very best decision.
I am so proud of who and what we are now and that we are able to interact with over 200 makers including those in our mentorship/residency program which is far more fulfilling to me than the retail side I so loved in my earlier years. We are lucky to have found our relationship with Square as well. Because of what happened to me early on in business it is still surreal to me when Square asks for feedback or shares our business with pride 🏳️🌈 because as much as I try to forget it - there is always a teeny bit of internalized homophobia and vulnerability there.
With gratitude,
