What do you want in a mentor? 🤔

[ElisabethB]

Hi, Seller Community! Today we'd like to know your thoughts about mentorship:

Obviously experience is important, but what other qualities and traits make a great mentor?

Share your opinions with us below!

[JUYBoutique20]

I think mentors should first of all be available.  Set aside time to speak with/work with your mentee.  They should build a relationship where the mentee trusts them to help them establish goals. Share with them some of their struggles and how they overcame the issues (That's where the experience comes in).  Last but definitely not least celebrate the successes with your mentee no matter how big or small.

[ElisabethB]

Love that, @JUYBoutique20! 🙌

[Fetacm17]

I love this

[DinaLRosenberg]

I look for someone who is at where I want to be... if they haven't done what I'm looking to do... I'm not interested.

[mksavage]

@DinaLRosenberg -- I really resonate with this! We've had a few mentors over the years who have been a strong voice in our lives, but then when I look at their business/life, it is clear that I do not want to follow their path. Seeing what they've built and how they live is a good indicator.

Similarly, it'd be nice to have a mentor who is further down a similar path to the one we're one. We have yet to find a mentor in the restaurant/cafe industry. There's of course a ton to learn from people who run other kinds of businesses, but it'd be SO helpful to be able to get into some of the nuances of running a restaurant with someone who is doing it successfully (and with some of the life balance we're hoping to also create). Most of our mentors have been older men, and I've love to learn from someone who has balance running a successful business with motherhood, etc., and to be able to ask for industry-specific advice.

[ElisabethB]

@mksavage That is such an excellent point about needing the experience of balancing work with parenting!

[doc_choc]

A person who can share their depth and breadth of experience and knowledge, helping avoid and by-passing obstacles and challenges to improve the chances of success. Be able to point you in directions for help as they won’t have all the answers but may know where to go to find them. Show interest, provide support and encouragement to you and your business.

[lenjobakes]

Ooo I love this questions, @ElisabethB!

I can come at it from two points of view because I have had mentors and currently mentor (or coach) other entrepreneurs as a part-time gig. (Actually two part time gigs...weddings are expensive and being an entrepreneur doesn't pay enough right now 😂). I digress...

What I look for in a mentor is someone who can listen to what I say my problems are and actually decipher what my real problems are. Most of the time I complain about the symptom, but it's not speaking to the problem. Having someone with (typically) a different point of view than me is also helpful because the last thing I need is an echo chamber. And most importantly: sometimes I just need a sounding board! I need someone who knows the struggle of entrepreneurship and can just commiserate more than family or friends who have no idea what it's like to run a business and the very unique stress that comes with that.

In my "mentorship", I really aim to keep my founders on track with their goals. They set them and we create a workback schedule to ensure they're able to reach them. I offer accountability and also a different perspective. I hear what @mksavage is saying in terms of having mentors in your own industry, but I find that sometimes having the perspective of someone who has no idea what your industry is like can be disruptive in the best way! That being said, there is something beautiful about being able to have someone to talk shop with without the need to explain yourself.

As time goes on, the need for mentorship may change but I always think an entrepreneur can benefit from having someone to chat through business-specific things through with!

[ElisabethB]

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What I look for in a mentor is someone who can listen to what I say my problems are and actually decipher what my real problems are. Most of the time I complain about the symptom, but it's not speaking to the problem. Having someone with (typically) a different point of view than me is also helpful because the last thing I need is an echo chamber. And most importantly: sometimes I just need a sounding board! I need someone who knows the struggle of entrepreneurship and can just commiserate more than family or friends who have no idea what it's like to run a business and the very unique stress that comes with that.

I love this, @lenjobakes - it's so true that sometimes you just need a different perspective to help you cut through the stress and understand the real issue. 

[mksavage]

...but I find that sometimes having the perspective of someone who has no idea what your industry is like can be disruptive in the best way!

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This is such an interesting perspective, @lenjobakes -- that makes a lot of sense. Those people can sometimes ask the best questions because they're looking at it from the outside, not from the perspective of someone who "knows" everything about the industry. Love that. I also really appreciated what you said about deciphering your real problem from the symptom you're describing -- so valuable. Because addressing downstream symptoms all day won't actually solve the bigger upstream problem that keeps getting you there (which is exhausting).

Love that you're doing some mentoring too! That's really cool, and something I've aspired to for the future.

[Topnotchsp]

A mentor should be Patient, not every person learns the same in pace.

Passionate, you can tell when your mentor loves their craft.

Analytic, to want to understand why and how a person learns.

Devoted, it's this that sets them from the rest. How much time are you willing to emphasize on an individual to see them succeed and not only that but to have to see them leave when they are more than ready to leave you because you have done your job right. That right there is the hardest thing to do.

Love. It's because of this that you do it.

You understand that this is for the greater good to help them so one day the way you thought them they can in return do the same for someone else.

[ElisabethB]

I love this, @Topnotchsp! 🙌 

[tashaha]

Qualities and traits that make a great mentor can vary depending on the individual being mentored and the specific area of expertise or industry but a great mentor for someone wanting to start an online women's fashion store (like myself) should have excellent communication skills. They should be able to clearly communicate their ideas and feedback to their mentee. They should have patience and empathy considering starting an online business can be overwhelming and stressful especially for someone who is new to the industry. They should be understanding that their mentee may need time to learn and grow. A great mentor should have passion and enthusiasm for the specific industry in which they are helping others succeed in. They should be enthusiastic about sharing their knowledge and experience with their mentee. I think strong networking skills is a great quality to have as well, they could introduce them to their mentee. They could provide guidance on how to build relationships with suppliers, manufacturers, and other fashion industry professionals. They should be flexible and adaptable so they can adapt to new trends and technologies, enabling them to trying new approaches and strategies to help their mentee succeed.

Most importantly mentors should consider the unique needs and goals of their mentee when determining the most effective mentoring approach. A mentor working with a first-time entrepreneur may need to emphasize patience, empathy and guidance on basic business principles, while a mentor working with an experienced business owner may focus on advanced strategies and industry specific knowledge. 

[On1t]

To challenge me, to question my why's, to nurture my ability, while allowing me to also nurture theirs through teamwork and an understanding of mentorship and growth.

[JMA01]

Spot on exactly

[kcsmith2335]

A mentor should be a person that is able to help guide you with the necessary steps you need to take in order to succeed they need to be patient and listen. 

[JMA01]

I totally agree be a guide to let you stay the course.

[AGBoardco]

I believe a mentor should possess excellent listening and observational skills.  In order to provide guidance, they need to understand where, how and why you are challenged and/or need guidance.  Without this understanding they can easily lead you astray.  

[QuokkaCoffee]

I know it's the one thing I've needed all my life but never really had any luck with! And honestly, the Super Seller Community is the closest I've come to being able to work through that void--so thanks, gang! 🙂

What I find really constructive when I'm seeking ad hoc support is when the other person asks what I need from them: Do I want advice? Do I want a shoulder to cry on? Or do I need help solving a specific problem?

Doesn't happen all the time, but it helps both parties manage expectations and also get to the root of the matter quickly. (I feel like I picked this up from an article on navigating romantic relationships...)

Hospitality's... tricky for this kind of thing. We're not the most emotionally stable bunch, and a lot of veterans are understandably too tired or jaded to raise the next generation of F&B stars. There also aren't that many people in my age bracket with enough bandwidth to catch up on the regular to make sure we're all okay.

I guess that's also something I'm trying to change even if it's just within the context of our shop--in the hopes at least one person on the team takes that to their next job. 

So the search continues!

[mksavage]

Definitely resonated with this @QuokkaCoffee. 

a lot of veterans are understandably too tired or jaded to raise the next generation of F&B stars. There also aren't that many people in my age bracket with enough bandwidth to catch up on the regular to make sure we're all okay.

I guess that's also something I'm trying to change even if it's just within the context of our shop--in the hopes at least one person on the team takes that to their next job. 

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This has been on my mind a lot over the past few months. Is total burnout/obsession/relentless stress a requirement of running a successful restaurant, or... maybe not? What if it wasn't? Is it possible to choose something different? Just asking the questions has helped open my mind to possibility a bit, which helps me feel more hopeful and less defeated. This is going to be one of my main focuses in 2023 though... I personally know I can't continue the way I've been going. And I don't really want to be contributing to that culture in our industry/generation.