Friendship and Biz - do they mix?

[MudFire_Dex]

How do you navigate customers who want to be friends or vice versa friends who want to be customers? In my business it is not uncommon for customers to use the space for 10+ hours a week and in many cases they are following along with personal social accounts or they know when you are sick, away, or wearing a new shirt and wanna talk about it. When friends are customers it is similar but even closer. I try to boundary the best I can but I'm a pretty easy target for conversation and love building our inclusive environment. Curious about what others think...and if you allow business and friendship to mix? Happy Wednesday y'all!

[tranguyen]

Thank you for this question @MudFire_Dex and I can't wait to read what other sellers have to share! 

Speaking as someone from the other side — and in a different setting too: I've been living in Dublin for over 10 years now and during that course of time, have become very good regular at a number of coffee shops (my goal is to have at least one regular cafe in each post code 😂). It's something that develop naturally — these are people you interact with pretty much every day and even when it's a short interaction at the counter or longer when you sit in, there's a give and take. You share a bit about your day and they share a bit about theirs, and it goes from there. I always belive that you are as good as the community around you, and I think I've been really lucky. When I was house-hunting last year, a cafe owner was telling me if needed, I can move into a a house belonging to her husband's family, which is really sweet! All my moving boxes actually came from her cafe's, and I've gotten to know her kids over the year as well. 

I think the biggest thing is knowing when to pull back and when to continue a relationship, which isn't always easy. I always try to be respectful and let the other dictate how close they want u s to be because I'm mindful that at the end of the day, I'm a customer while they are in a job, and the power dynamic is different!

[Candlestore]

@MudFire_Dex ;

I have customers that have become friends.  As far as the Friendship goes its more on business or how the family is doing.   Sometimes we also joke around.  My partner gets here in the afternoons, well this customer whos adult daughter also shops here, started thinking I Locked my partner in the basement or worse since they would come mainly in the mornings.  We joked about it now and since they actually came here later in the Day a few weeks later.  We know what he buys and help his daughter when she is looking for Gift Ideas for him.  But again my situation is alot different, my customers are not here usually over half an hour at most.  

Then I have Friends that ask me about the business and try getting information on how to do this or that.  Again if it is my business I just nicely say shhhh its a trade secret.  Which is why there are 5 larger candle stores near me and from what locals say they all smell and burn a little different.   During Pandemic one of my suppliers for a scent when under.  I had to find a new supplier for French Vanilla.   Called a supplier and asked them for their French Vanilla, only to find out that they make 25 or more French Vanilla scents for Candles.  Others say well I will just use this Essential Oil.  The essential Oils we sell are not for Candles and are flammable, which is why we have a sign saying not for candles.  The last word of Essential OIL is Oil and can be flamable if the essetial oil is not cut down to mix.  

So I would suggest keeping conversations lite and do not give away trade secrets that makes your product better that others.  

[Lovewell]

I think it definitely depends on the line of work you're in. As @tranguyen kind off mentioned when its a coffee shop it is not uncommon to become a regular. For us especially we have such an incredible team and community that we have tons of everyday regulars and are apart of so many peoples daily lives. We have had many people become more like friends/ even family than customers and honestly it's incredible. We have been a part of some big milestones in peoples lives and we love that! Our community has also been a part of some of our big moments as well. I think for us specifically, the type of atmosphere we have built, rarely do our customers not want to know how things are going. We have customers that know our birthdays and have brought us gifts, and some customers that we know so well that we too get them gifts. I do think it does depend on the business and I think you also can trust your gut/ instincts and know how much info is too much info and when you need to pull back a bit. You learn from mistakes, we certainly have.

[CareyJo]

I completely agree with this.  It really does matter your line of work, your clientele and the interaction(s) that you're able to have with the public.  We've gained friends through our business and we've gained customers through our friends.  I've been a professional networker for years.  You just have to be mindful of each and every circumstance and not only set your boundaries but obey them.  Politely make your boundaries clear to both sets of friends, in a private place, so that they understand where you're coming from and what you're asking them for.  Generally people respect it, especially if they themselves are business owners because they do the same thing.  It's like dealing with a celebrity, there is a certain amount of things that you just don't say or do and most people get it.  When done right, it's very successful for you and your business.  Our personal chiropractor became a client, both for his business and his home.  We often run in the same circles and will see him at public events.  We have built a relationship with him that goes both ways.

[Faerly_Punk]

For many small businesses, we start with our friends being our first customers. So as we grow, often those friends bring in their friends and so on. You are connected somehow to many of your customers, even if neither of you knows it.  Now it's not feasible to be friends with everyone, but you can be friendly with everyone you come in contact with.

[Doran]

That is a good point.  

[DinaLRosenberg]

We have had situations where "friends of the shop" sometimes begin to become entitled to receive discounts or special treatment.. this has often shown up during our "live sale" where we have to be careful to be as fair as possible.

We try an treat everyone fair- but sometimes it's super hard

[MudFire_Dex]

Yes, we've run into this as well with access to the space outside of hour, discounting, or sharing food etc. I used to cook for our staff here and there but members (mostly who were friends) would be asking to share and worse even insinuating that it meant I liked staff more than members. So I stopped doing that and when I treat staff we order in or give gift cards.

[Doran]

I've seen this happen so many times!  And, I get what you are saying.  It is really hard to have a hardline boundary once things get blurry.  

[LukeNieuw]

Having Friendships with your Business will happen naturally and can work just fine when you stick to your rules. 

Don't make any special exceptions for them in terms of Discounts, priorities or taking up too much of your time. I've made all those mistakes.

If anyone is your friend and they want to be a patron at your shop or already are then they should be more than willing to play by the rules you set.

In the past if I had a sale on and it ended I would let "friends" still get it after the sale expired. A very bad practice imo. Even worse, I've had people get entitled and then try to influence my employees to make special exceptions for them because they were my "friend". That REALLY **bleep**ed me off & I made it very clear to my team I don't give that permission to anyone.

So now I keep it pretty black and white when it comes to business. I will still chat, be friendly and interact but I'm quick to remove myself if a conversation isn't very important and it's taking up too much time. And if someone wants to be special and wants special discounts they can join my Loyalty Club 😉

[doc_choc]

Implement rules and boundaries, remove ambiguity for you and your team and keep things as simple and as consistent as possible.  That way everybody knows the expectations of management and the business. It can be easy to deviate from expectations so **bleep** things in the bud and keep things on track. Its better all round for staff, customers and friends. 

[Doran]

I have plenty of clients that think we are friends.  Hard not to when we've been together for decades and watched major life moments happen in each other's lives.  But we aren't really friends.  I've never been to dinner with them or drinks. They weren't at my daughter's baptism or other major live events.  I've never attended theirs.  

There is a fine line, especially in the personal service business that I'm in of facials/massage.  

I try to be friendly without becoming intertwined.  In the past, I worked in a big salon where the girls would start going out with clients to parties and stuff and then get mad when no tip came or they wanted a "friend" discount.  It never ended well.  I stay away from the whole situation.  

[CareyJo]

I think people often forget the word acquaintances... not all of our friends are friends.  Some of them are just acquaintances.  And that is totally okay.

[Michael_L]

Build a system for long-term clients to get rewarded in some way.

Square can track repeat clients, so you could use that to trigger a repeat client discount, maybe send a gift card to people who bought from you more than 3x in the year, or do whatever makes sense to you.  If you track it properly then you won't miss the quiet ones who keep coming back and you won't reward the ones who are more outgoing but spend little.  You can offer the discount or gift in person to those clients you see regularly to make it a personal gesture.

[Twpchair]

It's so hard for me being in a small rural community, and everyone knows everyone. I am blessed that when a customer comes in, they pretend to shop, and when they leave, it's back to normal. But on weekends, I am open enough that they know we are extremely busy, and I don't have time for town talk with 10 people in line. I guess my friends vs. regular customers are different, and friends know I'm trying to run a business and regular customer. Yes, I still give that extra time when I can. I'm a people person and can carry on a conversation with anyone so it is time consuming at times but in the end the customer appreciates it and they become regular customers.